We stood in silence, my mom, dad, and I, for what seemed like forever. Well, not in complete silence. My dad was making incoherent gurgling noises. The trickle of sweat sliding down my sides from shaven armpits suggested that Teen Spirit isn't made for stressful moments.

Finally, Mom said, "Christopher, do you have an explanation for this?"

"Explanation for what, Mom?" I asked innocently.

"Answer your mother." My dad finally found his voice. "I want to know why my son looks like he just stepped off the cover of `Vogue'."

"Well, you see, uh, Eddy and me, uh we were just playing a little game." I don't know why, but I was starting to feel a little sassy. A tiny voice in the back of my mind was whispering that I was turning into my sister.

"Where did you get that dress?" Mom asked.

"What? This old thing? Just something I slipped on..."

"Cut the crap Christopher!" The shout from my dad took the curls out of my hair.

"Okay, okay! Eddy wanted me to pretend to be his date for Lisa's party so he could show her he could still get a date without her." I flipped the hair out of my eyes and added, "Don't ask me what he sees in her!"

Dad stammered, "You... you went to a party...out in public...dressed like ... like ... like that?"

"Don't get your bowels in an uproar, Dad. Chill! Everything was cool. Everyone thought I was a girl and Eddy was making Lisa jealous. Everything was going great until Eddy punched out Tank."

I guess I should have left out that last part.

"How could...I mean, why did Ed punch out Tank?" Mom asked.

"Well, Tank was trying to give me a hickey..."

Dad was standing there with both his hands on his head, alternating between stretching and squeezing movements. He said, "That's it. That's all I can take for one night. I can't deal with this now. Just wait 'till I talk to Ed's father! And you, take off that dress!"

"Daddy!" I squealed, "Don't tell Eddy's dad! If this gets out, we're dead meat! It was just a joke. It's over!"

"We'll discuss it in the morning!" and with that, Dad turned on his heel and walked away. I think he was upset. Mom was looking at me kind of funny, which was a good trick considering she'd been looking at me kind of funny since I first walked in the door. She brushed the hair out of my eyes and then with a finger under my chin, lifted my face up a little, and turned my head slightly from side to side. She said, "Christopher, why is your lipstick smeared like that?" Her tone of voice suggested she knew exactly how lipstick gets smeared that way.

"Gee Mom, I don't know." I looked down and studied my feet for a few moments. Mom's expression softened a little and then she said, "I think you'd best go wash your face and get to bed. I have a feeling it's going to be a long day tomorrow."

I nodded and walked down the hall to my room, the clicking of my heels sounding extremely loud. I shut the bedroom door behind me, leaned against it, and closed my eyes. What a disaster! If only I had remembered to climb through that stupid window, my parents would never have known about my little adventure.

I stepped out of the high heels and padded over to the bed and sat down. I removed the dress, bra, and pantyhose. I left the panties on as I left my room to go across the hall to the bathroom to wash my face.

It was still a shock to see myself in the mirror. As I cocked my head from side to side, I still couldn't get over that robo-babe who was staring back at me. I noticed I still had the earrings on, so I took them off before washing. I also noticed my shaped, polished nails. I'd have to ask Mom tomorrow how to get the polish off. Before I could ponder on how I would have gotten the polish off without Mom's help, I saw my bare neck in the mirror. The necklace! Ed's mother's necklace was gone! Would the disaster never end? Just great! Wonderful! I supposed that tomorrow, I'd find out I was pregnant too. Frantically, I searched the bathroom, my room, the hall, and even unthinkingly darted outside while still wearing panties and makeup. The necklace was nowhere to be found. Oh, the humanity!

When I started to re-enter the house, Dad jerked me in through the door, his eyes glancing nervously up and down the street. Then he slammed the door shut. "My god, Chris! ", Dad cried with a look of horror on his face. "What if the neighbors saw you like that? What were you doing out there? Don't you ever think? See these gray hairs? I didn't have them ten minutes ago!" he lectured as he followed me down the hall to the bathroom.

"I thought I lost an earring. Oh! Here it is in the bathroom! Silly me!" I held up an earring and smiled back at Dad. He just groaned and turned away. I felt sick. How was I ever going to explain, to Dad's satisfaction, about the dress, make Mom forget about the smeared lipstick, and tell Ed's Mom about the necklace?

And Ed didn't give me the promised $50 either.

Feeling utterly depressed, I finally cleaned up and climbed into bed. With the lights off, images from the evening played across my closed eyes. I was shocked when I found myself smiling when I thought of the goodnight kiss. Feeling wonderfully gooey inside and mentally confused, I drifted softly off to sleep.

I awoke amid the gentle vocals of Anthrax playing softly from my clock alarm. Saturday morning. The morning light, sifting through the blinds, sparkled off dust motes. A perfectly normal summer Saturday morning. Thank goodness it was only a dream! I slid my hand down to satisfy an itch and felt the smoothness of the panties. I held up my hand and saw the painted nails.

Groan. Yesterday, which seemed a million years ago, was reality after all. Rats. No...damn! Sliding out of bed, I noticed the dress and bra draped over the chair, and the pantyhose and heels laying on the floor. I stumbled across the hall to the bathroom to take a shower.

As I washed, my anger towards Ed grew. Because of him, I was now in some really hot water with my parents. If Tank ever found out who I really was, he'd pulverize me. If word ever got out around school...well, let's just say I'd pray to just be a geek again! And then add the fact that he actually kissed me! Kissed me! Right on the lips. And, after all that, Ed didn't even pay me! What a sleaze!

A few minutes later, the shower finished, I started to feel a bit better. As I dried off with a big fluffy towel, I noticed that Gwen had not been completely truthful with me. My hair was still permed. Great, I'll probably have to shave my head.

While brushing my teeth, I heard a car drive up in front of the house and the car doors slam. It was only am, so I knew it wasn't Ed. I looked out the bathroom window and saw several of the girls from Lisa's party walking towards the house. What now?! Why were they coming here?

My breathing stopped the same instant the doorbell rang. The only thing worse than this would be Stew showing up with candy and flowers. No, on second thought, the worst thing would be Tank showing up with brass knuckles.

Mom answered the door. I imagined Dad was still vapor-locked. I couldn't hear what was being said, but a moment later, Mom came down the hall and called with exaggerated cheerfulness , "Oh Chrissy! Some friends are hear to see you!"

I stuck my head out of the bathroom door and whispered between clinched teeth, "Mom! Are you crazy!? Why didn't you tell them Chrissy had moved to Africa or something?"

Mom just giggled for a second, then added, "Hey, you got yourself into this mess. Maybe you'll learn a valuable lesson from it." With that, she turned and headed towards the kitchen.

Growling, I wrapped a towel around me in the same manner I've seen Mom and my sister do and then walked hesitantly down the hall.

"Hi Chrissy!" called one of the girls. "Remember me, Gina, from Lisa's party? Well, anyway, we thought you might like to have this." She pulled a necklace out of her purse. Not just "a" necklace. THE necklace!

"Wow, I thought I'd lost that for good!" I squealed as the necklace was placed unceremoniously in my outstretched hand. "Where did you ever find it?"

"We found it on the couch at Lisa's where you and Tank had been sitting. We were going to try to find you at Harvey's, but the guys we were with wanted to go to a movie. We saw Gwen at the theater and she told us where you were staying for the summer."

"You should've just given the necklace to Gwen", I said. I thought, I could have put all this behind me by now if you dicey girls had just given Gwen the necklace and not shown up here.

"Oh, we didn't tell her about the necklace. We just asked where you lived."

"Gee, I'll have to remember to thank her..."

"Anyway", the girl continued, "we were going to stop by last night after the movie, but we saw that you and Eddy, well, um, were kinda busy! So we didn't stop."

My parents were just a room away, and I heard Dad start coughing up his Total through his nose, and Mom dropped something in the kitchen. I heard Dad start to get up, but Mom whispered something to him and he sat back down.

The girl wasn't through destroying my day. "Also, we were going to like, go hang out at the mall, and wanted to ask you if you, like, wanted to come with us!" I could tell from the way she talked, that she felt she was bestowing a great honor upon me.

"Well, gee, you know..." I started to say.

Then Mom floated into the foyer and said, "That's a great idea, Chrissy! You don't want to hang around here all day."

From the other room, I could hear Dad barely managing to say, "Honey, could I talk with you for a moment?"

"Just a moment dear! Girls, you're welcome to watch some TV while Chrissy gets ready. Go on Chrissy, you don't want to keep them waiting."

Mom had clearly blown a gasket. I looked at her with one of my many stupid expressions, and she just shooed me away. I could hear Dad moaning again. He was just as stuck as I was now. If word got out about this now, his life would be ruined. Mine would be over.

Lucky for me (or not), when my sister left for college, she just had to have a completely new wardrobe. She didn't want to look like a highschooler at college, so her closet was still crammed with clothes. Also, I was pretty close to her size.

Not wanting to create suspicion by dawdling over what to wear, I started frantically searching through my sister's closet. I suddenly stopped and giggled. I said to myself that I had to start `thinking girl.' Nobody is going to expect a teenage girl to get ready to go in two minutes. I slowed down and tried to remember how Gwen or my sister dressed on weekends.

Eventually, I selected a black and white top, black denim miniskirt, ankle socks and tennies, and appropriate undies. Since all my sister's earrings were for pierced ears, I grabbed the clip-on hoops I wore the night before. I kept the makeup minimal, but did remember to go get the purse I used last night to find the lipstick that matched my nails. I also found a couple of plastic bracelets in my sister's dresser that matched my top, so I added those for good measure.

I stepped back from the mirror to inspect the damage. I still could not believe it. How a wiry, geeky, junior high brat could be transformed into gorgeous (if I do say so myself) high school babe was beyond me.

I grabbed a denim purse and as I started filling it with essentials, mostly just transferring the contents of the other purse into it, I could hear Dad out in the backyard, mowing the lawn. It was the third time this morning.

I felt like a spy. There I was, in the back seat of Gina's car, surrounded by a gaggle of giggly girls, their perfumes clashing. I had been admitted to the inner sanctum.

The trip to the mall would complete my indoctrination into the teen female world. Including me, there was six girls in the car and at a minimum, eight to ten different conversations going on at once. Most of these conversations were devoted to making viscous comments about any girl not currently in the car. The topic of boys, hair, and zits came up too, and not necessarily in that order.

The girls' names were Gina, Megan, Tammi, Sheri, and Amy. And me.

"So Chrissy, how long have you known Eddy?" asked Megan from the front passenger seat. Four expectant heads turned towards me and Gina was looking in her rearview mirror.

"Only for a day."

"He sure isn't wasting any time", said Gina, smiling at me through the rearview mirror.

"Do you like him?" asked Tammi, who was sitting to my right.

I wanted to say I hated his stinking putrid guts and after I blew him away with my dad's AK-47, I would happily dance upon his grave. But instead, I said, "Yes, I do like him. He seems very nice."

The other girls giggled and shared a knowing look. Well, Gina at least had seen Ed kissing me. The kiss of death...

Megan then said, "Lisa always said that Eddy was a stupid little dweeb."

"And also that he was the poster boy for birth control", chimed in Gina.

I wondered if Ed knew all that. Still, I said, "Who cares what Lisa thinks? He likes me now." What was I saying?! Well, I did have to keep up the act. Still, I was really starting to resent how he'd turned my life upside down.

"Well", started Tammi, "after last night, we all think Eddy's pretty cool. I didn't even notice that he was cute before!"

"I thought he was cute the first time I saw him!" I laughed. On the inside, I needed a barf bag.

We cruised on down the drag towards the mall, the Mecca of teen girls. Gina drove amazingly well considering she never once watched the road. Cute guys would honk and wave at us as we weaved across the lanes. I mentally slapped myself for noticing if the guys were cute or not.

As we pulled into the mall parking lot, Gina said to me, "You'd better be sure to tell Eddy to be on the lookout. We hear Tank is going to be looking for him."

"Eddy can take care of himself!", I said. If Ed had any active brain cells, he'd be on his way to Canada right now.

We entered the mall like a pack of velociraptors on the prowl. There wasn't going to be one dress, shoe, or jewelry store that would be left unturned. If we ever got that far. Megan had to use the phone five seconds after entering the mall. But I don't think it was any accident she picked the phone right outside the video arcade.

While clustered around Megan, the other girls kept a sharp watch on who entered and left the arcade. Suddenly Tammi's eyes went wide and she giggled and nudged Gina who was looking in the opposite direction. That's when Shane Daniels, the captain of the football team, and every girl's fantasy, walked from behind the phone stall.

"Hello, Gina", said Shane. He eyed us like a cougar scanning a valley of lambs. And his eyes rested on me.

"Hi Shane", Gina cooed. "Whatcha up to?"

"Not much...just thought I'd get in a little pin ball with the guys." He focused his attention back on me again. Oh, just wonderful. Then he asked, "Who's your friend here? I don't believe we've met."

Gina was visibly agitated by the question, but said, "Oh. Shane, meet Chrissy. She's Eddy's girlfriend." Then she hastily added, "She's just here for the summer."

An incredulous expression flashed across Shane's unblemished face as he asked, "Eddy's girlfriend?"

If I had been smart, I would have just said yes and left it at that, but instead I stupidly said, "Oh, we just met yesterday." And then I was shocked to find myself actually enjoying being bathed in the glow of his smile.

From the direction of the arcade, one of Shane's cohorts called out, "Hey Shane, you gonna play or what?"

Shane looked over at his friend, frowned, and started to walk towards the arcade. But then, he turned towards me, touched my arm, and drew me to one side. He then dropped a neutron bomb on me as he said, "Chrissy, ah, you're one of the prettiest girls I've ever met." He paused for effect while he bathed me in that smile of his. His comment triggered a riot of emotions through me. I could feel my face flush as I looked down at my feet.

"And so I was wondering", Shane continued, "if you'd be interested in going to the Aerosmith concert with me next Saturday?"

I was shocked, stunned, flattered, offended, elated, horrified, stupefied, and just about any other emotion you could think of. Most girls at school would consider a date with Shane as a "to die for" and here he was, offering me a date, and telling me I'm the prettiest! Someone get this guy a pair of glasses!

Going out with Shane, or any guy for that matter, was strictly out of the question! From the looks I was getting from the other girls, I knew they overheard and were anxiously awaiting my reply. I had to get out of this situation gracefully and in a way that would keep Shane from hounding me and stay consistent with all the lies I had been telling.

At first I looked at my hands as I started to reply, then looked up straight into his eyes. Those eyes were very blue, too. Anyway, I said, "Thank you for asking, but I probably should give Eddy a chance to ask me that. I'm sure he's going to go."

I could tell some of the wind had been knocked out of Shane's sails. He's not used to being turned down. But instead of being mad, he said, "Well, I hope you change your mind because I'd much rather go to the concert with the most beautiful girl in town. But if you wait too long, I'll have to ask someone else." He smiled, then turned and walked into the arcade.

"Are you crazy?", squealed Amy when Shane was out of earshot. "How could you turn down a date with Shane Daniels?"

Just a shade indignant, I said, "Well, because Eddy's my boyfriend. I'm sure he'll take me to the concert." What was I going to tell her? That I never date anyone who could borrow my jock strap?

It was obvious that Gina was pissed. I knew that she'd been trying for some time now to get Shane's attention, and I got it in about 5 nanoseconds without even trying.

We finally started walking towards the interior of the mall. The first stop would be one of the music stores. As we rounded the corner, just coming out of the music store was Tank! He was drooling over some bimbette and hadn't looked in our direction yet. The other girls looked over at me.

"Hey guys. Why don't you just go on into the music store. I wanna check something out in here first", I said, pointing into a dress store. They all (except Gina) nodded knowingly and continued on their way. I went over to the edge of the entrance and peered around the corner to watch.

As they were about to enter, Tank saw them and said something to them. They all shook their heads, except for Gina who looked in my direction. She frowned, then shook her head too. Then they went into the store. I thought for sure that Gina was going to spill the beans. I just hoped Tank hadn't noticed Gina looking at me.

Then Tank started lumbering in my direction. Quickly, I darted into the dress store. I didn't look and ran right into something, and almost knocked it over. I looked up in horror to see it was Mrs. Bently, a member of my mom's bridge club. I just said, "Oh, sorry", and started to casually go on my way.

"Now look here young lady, I think...", she started, then paused. She looked at me quizzically for a few seconds. Then she said, "Christopher! What on earth are you doing dressed like that?" She grabbed hold of my arm.

Geez! How could she have possibly recognized me? "Eddy dared me to do it." What's one more lie after so many? "He said he'd give me fifty bucks if I did." Okay, now it was less of a lie. I might actually remember it if I had to.

"You young people today! Why, when I was your age, we didn't have time for shenanigans like this!", she scolded. While she was talking, Tank stepped in front of the entrance! He was glancing from left to right.

"Does your mother know you're dressed like this, young man?", asked Mrs. Bently.

"Yes she does, ma'am.", I said with a forced smile. I had to get away from here.

"Don't try to fib to me, Christopher! I know your mother would do no such thing! It's just not shameful, why it's immoral for you to be dressed like that!"

Tank entered the store. Mrs. Bently was between us. I tugged at her grip and said, "Mrs. Bently, I have to go..."

"We're going to call your mother! I'm sure she'd be shocked to know how you're looking!"

"She sent me here! Look, I really must go!" I grinned and pointed over my shoulder with my free hand and said, "They're having a bra sale over in Lingerie and I don't want to miss out!" Tank was right behind Mrs. Bently, looking away from us. I tugged harder to get away.

"Christopher! Stop that and come with me!" she snapped. At the sound of my name, Tank turned around. Before he could get a good look at me, I slipped from Mrs. Bently's grasp and fell head long into a dress rack, designer fashions flying in a riot of summer colors.

I got quickly to my feet, and none too gracefully. During the brief confusion caused by Mrs. Bently fussing over the fallen dresses, I weaved my way through the clothes racks and made my way outside the store.

I was facing the direction opposite the music store and turned around quickly, only to bump my nose into Tank's chest. He took my hand and almost crushed it and as he led me towards the music store, he said into my ear, "Hey bitch, I was looking for you!"

"Me?" I squeaked. Partly from the pain in my mangled hand, and partly from being scared shitless, tears welled up in my eyes. Just great. Not only would I get beat up, but my mascara was going to run, too.

But Tank let go of my hand and said, "Now don't start balling'. I'm not mad at you." Awww. The big lug. "I'm just looking for that shit-for-brains boyfriend of yours."

"I don't know where he is", I whimpered. "Besides, do you expect me to tell you anyway? I don't want you to beat him up!" No, I want you to kill him!

That was clearly an angle that hadn't crossed Tank's synapses. He back up a step, as if he was about to leave, but said, "When you see that slime-ball pussy, tell him his days are numbered." With that, he turned and headed towards the arcade.

Visibly shaken, I walked meekly into the music store. I walked up to the guys. Megan said, "Are you okay? We saw Tank talking to you."

"Yeah. I'm fine. He's looking for Eddy. I'm really worried, guys." Yeah. If Tank kills Ed, I'll never get my $50.

"Maybe you'd better call him", suggested Gina.

"That's a good idea, Gina."

We headed, en masse, to the nearest phone that wasn't anywhere near the arcade. I dialed Ed's number, and after a few rings, his answering machine started playing the theme to "Mr. Ed". I hung up.

Amy said, "Maybe he's here at the mall?"

"That's right!" I suddenly remembered. Ed was going to be meeting his friend Fritz at the arcade this morning. The arcade! Tank was in there. Ed may be a total goober, but he's been my best friend for years. I just couldn't let him walk into the lion's den. I told the girls that I'd remembered that he was going to be here. We decided to do a stake-out.

We didn't have long to wait. About ten minutes passed and then here came Ed. But Ed wasn't with Fritz. He was strolling through the mall, hand-in-hand, with Lisa! What was he doing with HER!?

He hadn't seen us sitting there, so I stood up when he got close and said, "Eddy!"

He stopped, surprised, with a puzzled look on his face. He looked at me for a moment as if he didn't know me. Then his eyes went wide and he blurted, "Chris?? Chris, wha..what the hell are you doing here?" He looked from me over to my friends who were all sitting there shocked. He looked over at Lisa, whose claws were started to extend.

To Lisa, Ed said, "Wait just a sec, babe." He then grabbed my arm and pulled me to one side. To me he hissed, "What the fuck are you doing? What's with the dress? And why are you with Gina and those stuck up bitches?"

Shocked, I said loudly, "Don't call my friends bitches!" The guys all stood up and glowered at Ed. In a heartbeat, he'd gone from hero to zero. In a voice dripping with acid and sounding just like my sister when she talked to her soon-to-be former boyfriends, I said, "Speaking of bitches, what are you doing here with *her*?" and I pointed to Lisa, unable to utter her name.

Ed shook his head in amazement. He pulled me a little further away and said in a low voice, "Are you high? Are you nuts!? You stupid little shit, you're going to ruin everything! Last night worked. Lisa got jealous. She came back to me! Is any of this sinking in?"

"You actually want to go back to her? What was last night about then? The dancing and the...the...the..." My voice trailed away at the thought of the kiss.

Ed blushed a deep red and looked at his feet. "Look, I lost touch with reality for a few seconds. Everyone was suddenly liking me..."

"Eddy!" the shrill voice of Lisa called out. "Are you going to waste all day talking to *her*?" She came up and stood right beside him. Ed unconsciously put his arm around her and she pulled herself closer to him.

He said, "Chris...I have to go."

"Fine! You just do that! Go. Take that slut with you!"

"We'll talk about this later..."

"I don't want you talking to her anymore!" Lisa hissed.

Ed and Lisa started to walk on towards the music store and I said, "Oh, Eddy...Fritz is in the arcade waiting for you..." and then I motioned for Gina and the girls to follow and I turned and walked away.

I actually cried. I felt so stupid about it too. I was overwhelmed by the emotional overload. Subconsciously I knew it was ridiculous for me to feel the way I was feeling. But I didn't care. Gina and the others were sitting with me at Chick Fillet, trying to be encouraging.

Finally, I got cried out and calmed down some. I pulled out a mirror from my purse and repaired my makeup.

"Let's do some shopping", suggested Tammi. "It'll cheer you up!"

We went into a couple of dress stores and tried on various dresses. I did make sure no one could see me change, for some strange reason. We had a blast! Going from store to store!

We stopped at an earring boutique because Amy was looking for some new earrings. While we were looking, I heard a cough come from behind me. A shaft of pain when through my spine as I wondered what that jerk Ed wanted now. I turned and swallowed hard. It was Shane.

"Hi again, Chrissy", he said. "I was on my way out and saw you over here. I just wanted to tell you the news about your boyfriend."

Guilt bolted though me, but I said, "He's not my boyfriend."

He raised an eyebrow at that. He said, "Well then, your ex-boyfriend almost got the living shinola beat out of him in the arcade by Tank. I stopped it though."

"That's good, I guess." I looked down at my fingers. There was an uncomfortable pause.

Shane just stood there looking at me for a moment in silence. He pulled an earring off the display rack, brushed aside my hair with a finger, and held the earring by my earlobe. "Hmmm... These would look really good on you, I think."

I let out a short, soft laugh and smiled, "Well, I don't have pierced ears."

"Oh...that's too bad." He paused a second, then said, "Well, I guess I should be going..." He turned to leave.

"Shane?"

He turned back towards me and asked, "Yes?"

"Is your concert invitation still good?"

He smiled.

I felt really strange as I watched Gina and the others drive away from my house. It was late afternoon, and I'd spent practically the whole day at the mall. I was really tired too. That's why I decided to just stay home instead of going to Harvey's with the other girls. All my emotions had been spent today.

As I closed the front door, Mom called out, "Is that you Chris?"

"Yeah."

"Well, better get washed up, honey. We'll be having supper soon. How was your day?"

"It was...okay."

"I got an interesting call from Mrs. Bently today."

"Yeah...we were looking at dresses together."

I walked into the kitchen where Mom was frying something and Dad was scrubbing his hands with steel wool. He turned and looked at me.

He said, "Christopher, take off that dress and get changed into something normal for supper."

"It's a skirt, not a dress, Daddy."

"Don't get smart with me, young lady...I mean...Jesus..."

Dad started to turn back to his scrubbing as I was started to leave the kitchen. Then he turned back to look at me. He said, "Chris, just hold it a second." He then walked up to me and took a close look.

To Mom, Dad groaned, "Honey, Christopher has his ears pierced."

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